Dear women,
To mark March 8, you congratulated each other, your close and not so close friends and wrote many dedications, often signed with the “gentle” gender. Among that rush of statements, two categories of proclamations prevail. From them, the same message forces its way like a volcanic eruption. They caught my attention.
“I know women that no man can match.”
“Women are housewives and workers, wives and mothers, key coordinators in the household, and on top of that, they manage to look like ladies, well-groomed and well-dressed… Only women can achieve all that. And that’s why they are superior to men….”
On March 8, I just skimmed through the social media, not intending to give it a deeper thought. However, the next few days, I realized that some of these statements stuck with me, waiting to be dealt with no intention of leaving without being properly treated. So, here we go.
What do these characterizations even mean? The inevitable impression is that in order to determine the woman’s value, we have to compare her to a man. But that is not enough; the comparison goes a little further, presenting the woman as superior to a man. It immediately occurs to me that men’s scale of worth is the opposite. When a man is defined as being like a woman, it’s an insult, meaning he is weak. In short, men DO NOT want to be compared to women, while for women, men are their metric system. It’s a little bit tricky! We experience the bitter side of comparison from an early age, especially when it’s done by our parents or teachers. In order to be seen and valued, we have to be better, do better, and sacrifice more than the others, than our male counterparts. And to prove they can do it, women around the globe carry the whole world on their back with a smile.
Patriarchy is designed according to the worldview, visions, expectations, needs and the very nature of men. In the sea of information of do’s and don’ts, predetermined directions of what the world should be and look like, we get overwhelmed. And for a woman to be equal, she needs to fit into THAT world, a world not tailored to her needs. That is why women should educate themselves, explore their extraordinarily rich nature and create new concepts. Nothing will change as long as she keeps trying to fit into the already given mold. It’s absurd to just become part of the already created matrix and contribute to its solidification. If wars are an accepted concept, does it matter who pushes that button, a man or a woman? We need to challenge these old views and create new solutions. We need to explore ourselves and act in accordance with our inner being. That would be an excellent example of a meaningful relationship with ourselves and the world.
Why be successful in a men’s world when you can be successful in the human world. That is the greater good. That is all that counts in terms of civilization.
As Indira Gandhi put it nicely in her speech “True Liberation of Women” (March 26, 1980):
“In the West, women’s so-called freedom is often equated with imitation of man. Frankly, I feel that is merely an exchange of one kind of bondage for another. To be liberated, a woman must feel free to be herself, not in rivalry to man but in the context of her own capacity and her personality. We need women to be more interested, more alive and more active not because they are women but because they do comprise half the human race. Whether they like it or not, they cannot escape their responsibility, nor should they be denied its benefits.”
