If a picture is worth a thousand words,
I have composed novels for my friends on Snapchat.
How many Zoom calls is my sanity worth
And how much truth do pixels show
Can I live vicariously through this text message
Traveling through my screen to theirs
See how she leans her cheek upon her phone
O, that I were a picture upon that screen
That I might touch that cheek
That I might touch that hand
That I might touch
Do you think they remember the way I laugh
Not the way I sound through my microphone
But the way I truly laugh
The sound waves from my chest to their ears
I’m trying to remember the taste
Of my Grandmother’s secret recipes
Of the Mexican restaurant that closed down the block
Of his lips or her lips or anyone’s lips
I wonder how tall my nephew is
Is he tall enough to sit in the passenger seat and ride roller coasters
Should I call my brother again
How many times is too many
How many times is enough to ask him if he’s as lonely as I am
I want to want to go outside
The necessity of walking is now a luxury
A luxury that I can afford,
But that I can no longer bring myself to appreciate
Because what is a summer day alone
What is sand between your toes when there are only 10 toes in sight
What is a pitcher on a patio when you can’t finish it yourself
What is any of it when the only place it exists is in your camera roll
Do you want to watch the sunset on my Instagram story?
Do you feel close to me when you do?
Can you see the moon in the picture I sent you?
I promise it doesn’t look like a blur of white light in person
I promise every star is a beautiful reminder that the universe is watching
And whether that is a satellite or a shooting star,
I will still make a wish for us
I wish to be a part of you again
And for you to be a part of me
I want to share my life with you
Not on a screen
Not on a call
Not through memories that I play in my head while I try to fall asleep
And yet, I would do it all again, if it would save another life
Because the world, our world, is bigger than just me
Bigger than just you
And in a world where we can’t work together,
In a world where we can’t sacrifice for one another,
We aren’t sharing our lives, anyway.
So I will see you again
We will have twice as much birthday cake and twice as many candles
To make up for lost time and lost years
We will sing twice as many Christmas carols and hang twice as much mistletoe
And we will kiss and kiss and kiss
We will win twice as many football games and have twice as many beers
And we will sit among our friends and our rivals
Shoulder to shoulder
Happy to see even those we might not have known we wanted to see
Happy to be together again.
