Don’t worry; I got you. Breakups happen, and yes… they do, in fact, suck. You may feel like the world around you is crumbling, but it’s not, I promise. You just need time to heal and recover. However, there are ways to make yourself feel better and remind yourself that you are the main character and hold all the power. These 6 tips will be your ultimate guide to surviving a breakup in your 20s. But first… let’s discuss dating culture. Trust me; it is more telling than you might think.
It is no surprise that Gen Z and Millennials have different expectations when it comes to dating. Dating culture has transformed tremendously due to social media. It consists of apps (in this case, dating) in which you can find out almost every detail about a person depending on how much they want to show you. Kind of cool but also scary. This means the way our relationships built and sustained are more superficial and surface level. Gen Z on the other hand, (ADD) As millennials, we wouldn’t necessarily have to settle considering the accessibility to the internet providers.
Now that you better understand the difference in dating between Millennials and Gen Z, some psychology about how men and women handle breakups may or may not surprise you… and might even make you feel better.
Men take longer to get over a breakup compared to women. Psychotherapist relationship coach and divorce mediator Toni Coleman say, “They like the pursuit and seem to place more value (at least initially) on a woman that is beyond their reach. When she ends the relationship, this rejection could hit his confidence and self-esteem hard.” Additionally, she was able to conclude that men have more difficulty taking accountability for their wrong-doings, followed by traditional western standards of men suppressing their feelings and having to “man up” instead of expressing emotion.
Women are the opposite. We tend to be called overly emotional, but studies have shown women recover almost-entirely from breakups despite our feelings being more intense and negative, even on a physical aspect.
Now, here are the steps on how to deal with the breakup:
Remember that there is plenty of fish in the sea. Yes, I know…how cliche? But it’s true. The world is filled with billions of people.
Whatever you do, DON’T GO BACK! You, or them, left for a reason. Keep it that way.
Take some time to be alone. It’s only natural to want to get back out there to not wallow in your solitude, but try to not rush into anything too serious or too casual. You may find yourself developing expectations, but then again, you know yourself best.
Find a new hobby. This could be working out, writing, or whatever you prefer. Finding a new hobby can help to shift the focus off of stress and even boost confidence!
It’s ok to not be ok. Accept things for what they are is important because you acknowledge that the breakup happened and that it is time to move on. You can ask yourself questions like “Were they even right for me?”, “How do I currently feel about…” If you need to cry or scream, don’t be afraid to let it out.
Love yourself FIRST! No one but yourself is going to understand and love you the way that you do. The more in love with yourself you fall, the more content you are alone and in your power. It is essential to have a relationship with yourself before entering one with someone.
Before you go pulling out the hair dye and new wardrobe, SO before you understand that there is more to dealing with breakups. Every relationship is different so take what is said here with a grain of salt. At least we can all agree that breakups suck. But once you heal, the power you hold is endless.
*Disclaimer: Although this article was written from the female perspective, anyone dealing with a breakup or heartache, regardless of gender, can follow these steps to bettering themselves and moving on.*
Source (s): Wynne, G. (2019, April 2). The Best Breakup Advice For Your Early 20s, According To 8 Women. Elite Daily. https://www.elitedaily.com/p/the-best-breakup-advice-for-your-early-20s-according-to-8-women-17004670
Abraham, A. (2017, January 20). How to Deal with a Breakup in Your 20s. Vice. https://www.vice.com/en/article/pggdx9/how-to-deal-with-a-break-up-in-your-twenties
Singh, R. (2020, December 21). The Difference in how Men and Women Breakup – LoveSex. Medium. https://medium.com/lovesex/the-difference-in-male-and-female-breakup-styles-bdd64d940000
Spector, N. (2017, September 8). Why Men May Take Longer to Get Over Their Exes. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-men-may-make-take-longer-get-over-their-exes-ncna799791