
Misogyny is, unfortunately, still a very prevalent thing in today’s society worldwide. Things have gotten better for us women compared to, say, fifty years ago, but that doesn’t mean the fight against sexism is even close to over yet. While misogyny in the Western world has not disappeared like some people seem to think it has, it’s also a core issue in the Arab world.
My knowledge on misogyny in the Arab world comes from my experience living in Lebanon and the United Arab Emirates. It goes without saying that not everyone in the Arab world has misogynistic beliefs, but we shouldn’t ignore those that do.
Misogyny and gender differences in education
Generally speaking, in Lebanon, it seems that what’s expected of you depends on what gender you’re born as. If you’re male, your priority is to finish your education (mostly in the sciences) and get a well-paying job. If you’re female, your priority is to learn how to do household chores like cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry, so that you will be more eligible to bachelors looking for a wife. Those bachelors didn’t “need” to learn how to look after themselves because they’re the bread-winners, after all.
It makes sense, then, that one study shows that the illiteracy rate of girls in Lebanon in 2007 was double that of boys. It also shows most girls, if they do get an education, study Arts & Humanities, while most boys study General Sciences. Even now, literature and art are considered “for girls” while subjects related to science are “for boys.” A woman who chooses to enter a scientific field of study might find herself surrounded by men in her classes, and vice versa.
We can all agree that cooking and cleaning are basic skills that everyone should at least try to learn, regardless of gender. So why are women expected to be the ones who take care of their money-earning husbands? Why can’t they both earn money and split the chores between themselves? What if the husband wants to be the one to stay at home and do the chores while the wife works?
Misogyny in appearance and behavior
In Lebanon, the concept of being “ladylike” is ever present. I had never thought of swearing as something related to gender, but older generations seem to think differently. I hear many men around me casually cursing in Arabic during conversations, and no one bats an eye. However, when I use the same words to express myself, I tend to receive expressions of shock and mild disgust from those who hear me. It’s “vulgar” to curse, and “ladies” shouldn’t do it, I’ve been told. Maybe that’s why I never seem to hear any women curse as much as men do so freely.
Furthermore, looking our best should always be our top priority, no matter where we go. If we don’t have our makeup and hair done with a carefully coordinated outfit to go with them, we’re definitely going to get stared at. Meanwhile, men can walk outside in shorts and stained shirts or tank tops–even shirtless sometimes–and it’s business as usual.
It’s funny, though, because even though women are expected to be polished in their appearance, they’re often told they’re not allowed to go out without their (often younger) brother coming along to “protect” them.
Granted, there’s undeniably scummy people out there who would try to take advantage of a lone woman, but that’s yet another issue! Women are taught to be aware and protect themselves, but men should be taught to respect women and not, you know, harass them.
Misogyny within the family
Unfortunately, many women in Lebanon aren’t safe from the consequences of sexism even in their own homes. The father is almost always the head of the household, and after him, the son, even if the daughter is actually older. The son is given authority and expected to be obeyed and even served sometimes. For example, when my mother was younger, she would get into many fights with her little brother, because he saw himself as the “man of the house” after their father died and wanted my mom and her sisters to cook and clean for him whenever he demanded it.
Of course, not all cases are as severe as that now, but there’s no denying the “man of the house” mentality that fathers have and pass down to their sons in Lebanon and other parts of the Arab world. Regardless of if the mother or daughter(s) are more qualified to make certain decisions, the head’s say is final, simply because of his gender.
Thankfully, the rate of illiteracy in girls in Lebanon, as well as misogynistic beliefs in general, have dwindled with time. Though misogyny is still alive everywhere today, it is getting better, and I appreciate those in Lebanon who don’t let traditional sexist beliefs define their own.
Do these experiences sound like yours, or are your experiences different where you’re from? I would love to learn how misogyny affects your country’s society. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!