Let’s face it, it’s been tough to find “the one” or date in general during a global pandemic. People have resorted to dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge to curb their wants and desires, including myself…but I found it only leads back to the same cycle. Needless to say, I am no longer associated with any dating apps but, I’d describe the experience as somewhat liberating but mostly monotonous. I find that dating apps can lead to a toxic environment and mindset. This isn’t to say they don’t work or you won’t end up finding love, but when it comes to Millenials, they desire more casual connections compared to one deep connection. Yeah, sure, it can be fun to receive a lot of matches and connections, but what happens when it comes down to conversation and taking those next steps? Is this person looking to only hookup?
What is a hookup?
Let’s start by asking ourselves what we define as a hookup. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the first definition states it is “a state of cooperation or alliance,” yet it isn’t until the fourth definition that states it as “a casual sexual encounter”. The Urban Dictionary refers to it as “To have any form of intimacy with a member of the preferred sex that you don’t consider a significant other.” Sounds about right.
How has the hookup culture Changed Sexual Norms?
I can’t even begin to tell you how many people have said, at some point, they can’t stand to date or have relationships in this generation. My generation has become so obsessed with the idea of romance that they don’t take a second to realize they are romanticizing the idea, but not acting upon it. We, including myself, are eager to start the rest of our lives early and have financial abundance and freedom.
Many Millennials believe being independent is a flex as well as working on every other aspect of themselves besides romance. Making money, traveling, and following your dreams are all priorities for most, but that doesn’t mean romance should be counted out entirely.
Where do we see Hook Up Culture?
Social Media
Sites such as Instagram and Twitter have pages dedicated to content solely based on sex and relationships.
Music
When it comes to the music we listen to, the issue lies within the subliminal messages. Artists such as Future, Drake, Brent Faiyaz, Cardi B, and even SZA, among many more, encourage promiscuous sexual behavior accompanied by arrogance or a selfish attitude. I love all these artists don’t get me wrong, but their music is used in trends such as “What her favorite artist says about her: Rapper edition” or “Singer edition” to somehow insinuate how a said person might behave in the bedroom or towards relationships. I know these trends are meant to be lighthearted and just for fun but, some take the trend quite literally.
Clothing
It is no secret that women’s bodies have been objectified for years. Wearing revealing clothes can be seen as inappropriate, yet people still find themselves attracted to it. In a study taken in 2018 by Carlotta Cogoni at the University of Trento, it was proven that people who wear revealing clothes receive less empathy.
Language
The way we speak can be rooted in hookup culture. Younger people might tend to use certain slang or terms when it comes to hooking up. A common one is sending a blank screen with the text “pics?” insinuating they want revealing photos. Other slang used in hookup culture is
- Cuffing season – A period where people are looking to be in a committed relationship. (usually beginning towards the end of Fall into Spring)
- Thot – someone who sleeps around
- Wifey/hubby material – A person who is worth getting into a relationship with based on personality, sexual activity, mindset, etc
- Thirst Trap – Posting or sending something to get attention and arousal
- Catfish – Not looking like yourself (i.e looking different in person vs in photos or wearing makeup compared to not wearing makeup)
There is a lot more, but these are the most common.
Should you be hooking up or diving deep on the hookup culture?
For starters, it is not my place to tell you what you should and should not do. As always, I think it is something you want to do not have to do. Figure out what hooking up means to you and do what makes you comfortable.
Hook up culture dominates the world despite being portrayed in a distasteful way: one-night stands out of shame and let’s not forget double standards. What was once only discussed behind closed doors, is now vocalized more than ever? Sex has become so normalized that it is what some expect even with very little knowledge of a person. I find it difficult to believe that we will ever look at sex the same despite our own beliefs and preconceived notions. Hook up culture is here to stay.
Source(s): Chesler, J. (2019, January 21). 10 Dating Slang Terms You Need to Know. Phoenix New Times. https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/arts/10-dating-slang-terms-you-need-to-know-6560066
Jarrett, C. (2018, February 8). A new study found that people feel less empathy for women who wear revealing clothes. Business Insider.
https://www.businessinsider.com/people-feel-less-empathy-for-woman-who-wear-revealing-clothes-2018-2?international=true&r=US&IR=T
