I have come across gazillion experiences, instances, practices in life over time just like everybody else. Some of them still linger around while some have been stonewashed away. Now, there are 100 things that feel like bubbles popping in my head but that would make you say, ugh, not a long post again!!
I’ve always had them back in the cerebellum but I wondered why right words never came before. Nonetheless, I will attempt again to let them escape my mind and fly away into the world of the internet.
There is always something good and bad about nations, states or families or generally, people. But being negative is perhaps the best way to start a healthy debate and initiate a dynamic transformation.
Legends say that whenever Steve Jobs was introduced to a new product team, he would always start off with the statement “Let’s assume that whatever you have done till now is wrong”, and Apple went on to create the most fascinating product line known to mankind. Thus knowing and comprehending the bitter truths is really important.
- Read, write and discuss gender equality but go back home and accept your mom being treated as a subordinate/slave to your dad. Women are treated as second-class citizens in most traditional families. They must shut up, follow their men and never voice their opinions.
- Everything boils down to a girl’s fairness and a boy’s paycheck by the time of marriage (Mainly in India).
- We want a gentle, obedient and fair complexioned wife who cooks cleans, and takes care of children single-handedly as well as earn to contribute in the home while the guy can be “not fair“, impudent, arrogant as long as he earns “handsomely”.
- Dowry is no doubt an evil but looking for wealthy groom side and rejecting a man with a little low package is fine.
- Women who claim that they believe in equality and hence, will not pay dowry…but will demand alimony in case of a divorce.
- Implicitly expect the wife to be the first person to stop working “for the sake of the children”.
- Non-virgin men asking for virgin brides at the time of an arranged marriage…also, labeling all women who indulge in premarital sex as sluts and whores.
- Go to a friend/relative’s place and silently watch coffee/refreshments/dinner be served by the wife or daughter with no help what so ever from the manor son in the house.
- After marriage, A boy is respected if he gives priority to his parents compared to his wife. A girl is respected if she gives priority to her husband and his family compared to her parents. Can you see the difference?
- A 30-year-old unmarried man is either impotent or gay, depressed, underpaid or not a human. A 30-year-old unmarried woman brings a bad name to herself and her family. She is characterless and wild.
- Men ogle like dogs at scantily clad women while their sisters and wives and mothers should always be “appropriately dressed”.
- Indian laws punish men who rape women but there is no such provision to punish women who make false rape complaints.
- People making a big deal out of caste-based reservation but unwilling to marry people out of their caste/community/religion.
- We call ourselves environmentalists and yet, we are consumerists, waste generators, money hungry pretentious snitches.
- The government only does economic reform, but no reform in social and education sector.
- Consensual pre-marital sex is evil and homosexuality is a sin!!!
- Babies, babies and more babies…so many of them, but not enough resources for all.
- The action of the army is questioned and terrorists are sympathized by many.
- There is no real community measure in place. Schoolgirls are lured into dark lanes by a pedophile in broad daylight and no one comes to know until the man molests hundreds of girls?
- Parents who totally try to keep their kids (especially their daughters) away from sex and the opposite gender throughout childhood and teenage…asking their daughters (and sons) to get married the moment they turn 22–25 (23–28 in the case of guys)…and also, produce children ASAP.
- Labels: Oh, this one’s new. “I’m a radical intersectional feminist.” “I’m a polyglot self-motivated entrepreneur.” “I’m a lacto-vegan humanist who also composts.”
- We tag, harass and mock people for being effeminate, mentally ill, fat, kind, gay or being in a relationship. Good girls don’t have “affairs” (double quotes for the negative connotation it carries for people in India).
- We spend crores on weddings. Even a middle-class family has to dispense life-savings because What will people say. Because marriages aren’t two people promising lifelong commitment but two families doing the business of fixing two people.
- Parents not wanting to talk or educate their kids about sex, but somehow expecting them to know everything from the day of the wedding itself, and also wanting a grandkid as soon as possible.
- Very few people come forward to help an accident victim and when we see the same thing in Bollywood movies we feel like abusing the crowd when in reality we are the crowd.
- Sudden/temporary patriotism among the youth for the sake of social media likes due to some recent incident/issue. On other days this patriotism goes on a long holiday.
- Parents, teachers, and elders are Gods no matter what. You don’t question them even if they are physically or emotionally abusive. They are always right.
- Religious institutions spend hundreds of crores decorating their buildings while the poor standing outside begs for a few grains of rice.
- People praising God if a doctor is able to save a critically ill person but calling the doctor incompetent if the doctor fails.
- You will find the mobile signal, Maggi, and coke in remote areas but water and electricity may not be available.
I don’t know what to say. You’ve put down all those ‘Bitter Truths’ so correctly. It is a pity to see people begging outside decorated places of worship, to see soldiers being criticized and terrorists sympathised, to see parents avoid talking about the serious matters and still expecting their children to be right…..
These are the truths that are so evident in our lives that they have become habits. Bad habits! Perhaps these habits need to change….. If we want a better society, if we want less crimes, then I think this is that one area where we need improvement. We need to face these “Bitter truths of life”…..
Moreover, we have become comfortable with our “bad habits”. We are acceptable of ill doings now more than ever before. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It is wonderful to interact with like-minded people. Good wishes.
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keep it up. nice write up
Thank you.