Active Bystander

Great people will always be mocked by those Who feel smaller than them.- Suzy Kassem

I have already put up one post about bullying which covered cyber bullying briefly. I need to talk about it in a detailed manner. With the increased use of communication technology, cyber bullying has become increasingly common. It has become a very big problem all over the world and it is not just limited to children. Every day, thousands of people have to contend with negative, abusive, insulting, and threatening comments posted on, or linked to, their social media accounts. This has left many to wonder if there is anything they can do.

I remember my teenage years along with my friends where we would regularly receive clear messages overloaded with sexual content, threats, violent messages and abuses for not replying or accepting friend requests from unknown people. And hey, that’s just one menial side to it. Don’t be naive and think, it only comes from unknown people. Known people can too be a part of it at any age simply because they know more about you. If you have had a fight with someone known, they would make all possible attempts to harass and defame you. They would risk their life to spread hate around you. You definitely know the term Cyberstalking! MEN go through Cyberbullying and Cyber Stalking too.

Many cyberstalkers try to damage the reputation of their victim and turn other people against them. For those who suffer cyberbullying, the effects can be devastating, leaving you feeling hurt, humiliated, angry, depressed, or even suicidal. But no type of bullying should ever be tolerated.

Now, how do we deal with such situations!! How do we cope up with instant rage and wrath!! I am sharing my own little ways that I have learned over the years to counter such incidents.

• Do not even think about defusing the problem. You have to make it clear that you consider certain behavior harassment. Always remember small crimes lead to bigger crimes. Stand up for yourself each time.
• This is a major one. If you are generally a polite, reserved person who hates hurting someone else’s feelings, the harasser might think his or her behavior is actually welcome. It might be hard to believe, but it’s possible the person harassing you doesn’t realize his or her behavior is bothering you this much. Sometimes just telling the person outright, “I consider this to be harassment” can prompt an embarrassing wake-up call. A decent person will immediately apologize for his or her behavior and back off.
• If you are targeted by cyber bullies, it’s important not to respond to any messages or posts written about you, no matter how hurtful or untrue. Responding will only make the situation worse and provoking a reaction from you is exactly what the cyberbullies want, so don’t give them the satisfaction.

Instead, respond to cyberbullying by:

• Saving the evidence of the cyberbullying, keep abusive text messages or a screenshot of a web page, and then report them to a trusted adult, such as a family member, friend, teacher, or counselor. If you don’t report incidents, the cyber bully will often become more aggressive.
• Reporting threats of harm and inappropriate sexual messages to the police. In many cases, the cyberbully’s actions can be prosecuted by law.
• Being relentless. Cyberbullying is rarely limited to one or two incidents. It’s far more likely to be a sustained attack on you over a period of time. So, like the cyber bully, you may have to be relentless and keep reporting each and every bullying incident until it stops. There is no reason for you to ever put up with cyber bullying.
• Block the shithead; Basically, block whoever you don’t like now that we have options to cut off contact. Report their activities to their internet service provider (ISP) or to any social media or other websites they use to target you. The cyberbully’s actions may constitute a violation of the website’s terms of service or, depending on the laws in your area, may even warrant criminal charges.

If you are being cyberbullied, remember:

• Don’t blame yourself. It is not your fault. No matter what a cyberbully says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel. The cyber bully is the person with the problem, not you. Be you. Be confident and slay.
• Try to view cyberbullying from a different perspective. The cyber bully is an unhappy, ill brought up, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
• Don’t(never) beat yourself up. Don’t make a cyber-bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or reading the message over and over. Shit happens, move on.
• Get help. If it has become extremely serious and haunts you then Talk to a parent, teacher, counselor, or other trusted adult. Seeing a counselor does not mean there is something wrong with you.
• Deal with stress. Finding ways to relieve stress can make you more resilient so you won’t feel overwhelmed by cyber bullying. We have a lot of things to accomplish already in life.
• Enjoy. The more time you spend with activities that bring you pleasure the better it is for your mental health.
  Say what you feel. Do what feels right. There are no set Do’s and Don’ts. Listen to your gut feeling and take appropriate actions as soon as possible. Be safe. And, hey, Do not just go off the Internet and stop talking to people because some shitty thing happened. Be confident, Live however you like and move on.