I have a hard time saying no. Maybe you do, too. I think it is more typical than we might suspect, particularly for the individuals who are considerate or supporting. We simply detest the possibility of offending another person. That’s exactly when honoring yourself becomes the least of your priorities.
It was a long time before I noticed this problem in myself.
It is just easier to say “Yes” than a boundary setting “No”. We are raised to be people pleasers like those cute looking dogs. No one gets a kick out of the chance to feel mean, similarly as no one jumps at the chance to disappoint. The battle has awfully crawled its way into rape culture.
Saying “No” can appear like a brutal reaction, especially when the person on the other end is a companion or somebody who has been decent. And, you end up saying “Yes” to something you don’t approve of.
Your body knows better than you and is very wise enough to tell you if something isn’t right. See if you can tap into those signals your body is sending early on, and let that be your guide. Your psychological wellness is dependent on your ability to express yourself freely when needed.
When you can’t safeguard yourself or deal with your own needs and limits, your feeling of worth decays. The more frequently you are in conflict with your actual emotions, the more power others need to exploit you. And, when others can easily exploit you, their regard for you may also decrease, propagating the cycle of low regard.
If you’re anything like me then you will also keep away from get-togethers as a result of the likelihood you might be forced into accomplishing something you feel awkward dismissing.
Some may need a drink to be assertive. But, hey, uneasiness is not the option.
Outrage. Alongside uneasiness, outrage can bubble out of sight. Despite the fact that the word ‘No‘ might not have been utilized, the sentiments of infringement are still there. They, as well, are normally not voiced.
Don’t expect others to be mind readers when they are busy persuading you to do what you are not ready for. This can work in certain, however not all circumstances. This can prompt disarray, low self-esteem, and melancholy.
So gear up and stand up for yourself and everything you firmly believe in. Being self-assured is a skill that is developed over time.
It is definitely not mean to say “No“. You’re responsible for creating your boundaries. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s reaction. “No” doesn’t need any explanation. You don’t have to feel guilty for saying “No” rather, feel empowered that you can be honest with others and yourself about your ability to handle the life you already have without throwing more wood on the fire.
Each time we say NO to something that isn’t important, we are saying YES to something that is.
P.S. Listen to “No” by Meghan Trainor right now for some motivation!
Check out Let boys be boys.