We had some visitors in the house when I was around 12 years old. And, the first thing they said after making an entrance was that I need to shed a few kilos. I looked at them and my 12-ish mouth uttered, “No, I love potatoes. I want to look like them.”

I have always adored my food too much to go on some wild diet or famish myself. My epitaph is to eat all you want but burn it off the next day.

I love French stuff, mmm, French fries. Now, there’s no denying that French fries are breathtaking(literally!). Who doesn’t have a relationship with French fries? Fries are vegetables, Kind of, but also carbs in balance. Everyone from vegan, vegetarians, and non-vegetarians slobber over French fries. I like mashed. I like potatoes. I had French fries recently almost after 3 months and my mind was flooded with thoughts associated with French fries. You can call it the Fries hangover because they are as salty as me. Get it? Get it?

French fries and cheese garlic bread are my favorite downfall. Crunchy fried foods are nearly universally appealing. Nutella covered potato chips are quite possibly the best things known to mankind.

With that first slovenly bite of a French fry, you are overwhelmed with emotions. You are in wonderment of their salty excellence. How can such a holy food exist on earth? You venerate their golden grandeur from every slant before devouring them. Nothing can slow you down once you start eating them. You sturdily believe there’s never a wrong time to seize some fries. You deal with adversary better with the French fries. Your priorities are in order again. I personally have built a house out of fries, but ended up just eating it. Oh, I forgot to honor the dummies that think it’s cool to steal “just a few” fries from you even though they are capable of ordering their own damn fries but figure they could bum off of you instead. I have to repeatedly tell them I don’t want to end up in jail so please don’t do that.

One of the friends from the medical field told me that the reason why McDonald’s fries taste delicious is that they use the surfactant (a liquid that keeps your lungs from collapsing) in their French fry oil. Whatever it is, they taste darned good. I think we should enjoy them in moderation while we can instead of questioning it. As we all know, all fried foods will sooner or later be outlawed.

Everything debauched for you tastes good, been that way for ‘a while’ even with men too. Dip them in mayonnaise for pure artery hardening goodness. I mean French fries, not the men.

I can eat my fries soggy, crispy, fluffy, anyway. Crispy on the outside, cooked until golden brown and sprinkled with salt just the way I like them. How do you eat your fries; one piece at a time, Handful of fries together, No hands used, with Extra cheese and Seasoning, with the dips?

11 thoughts on “French Fries”

  1. LOL, loved this! Only eat them a few times a year but when someone asks what my favorite food is, I say, “Teenager food” meaning French fries and a chocolate milk shake (I’m sure REAL teenagers don’t favor that, just a fun stereotype). Oh, no, now I want to drive to McDonald’s…

    1. hahaha…so how was the drive and after coma of the teenager food? I had three different burgers, medium french fries and a coke today by itself after a long time. And, hell, yeah, life feels good already.

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