A 14-year-old schoolboy screamed “I Fuck you” at me with a smirk on his face in the company of his three more “little” friends while I was getting late for my conference a few days back. I’d have paused and spoke to him in a situation otherwise but I couldn’t afford to miss the conference. Then again, the episode stayed with me. And, hey, before you point fingers at my clothing, my clothing coverage could fail the full-coverage MAC Studio Fix Fluid Foundation.
The instance is funny because I am a 25-year-old woman, as well as worrisome because children are the future of the nation. Developing nation, for a reason!
Hormones can be a regal hell to people when they haven’t learned how to deal with them!! Who to blame? Schools? Peer group? Education? Media? Porn? Hormones? Their constant state of arousal at the sight of humanly bodies? No, because all of us are exposed to similar spices and wolves.
What’s different is the upbringing. Everything else branches from it.
Why do “you” get to determine what counts as an “overt sexual display”? You know who is who here?
Today he had the audacity to say things, tomorrow he will have the audacity to move one step ahead and do it to someone. A slight segment of our current generation is not doing a good parenting job apparently, just saying.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened yet I still haven’t gotten used to uncomfortable stares or eve-teasing after experiencing it since forever. Strange aggressive and lascivious looks right in my eye would completely freak me out. You know it’s a miracle anyway if you can culminate your ride by public transport without getting touched or groped, especially in India.
Or when you stand alone on the road waiting for a cab, auto, whatshitnot, you will be zoomed past or checked out by people laughing and saying loutish things. That’s normal? Sadly, yes. You freeze in that situation but you “choose” to ignore it as picking up fights with everybody would be a weary task. Also, no one minds. No one intervenes. No one stands up for you but yourself.
The very men who take pride in eve teasing are the same people who are the shields of their own families. It can be hard for men to understand just how uncomfortable it is to be on the receiving end of those penetrating stares and uncouth words.
It’s hard to stop protesting against something as insufferable as this. Women have been socialized rightly or wrongly to both desire and hate the male stare. Women look at men too, but since most of the men have not been raised to fear women (privilege), that look either goes by unnoticed or makes their day.
Teenage rearing is a social problem in the present age. Only if we could lay emphasis on parenting alone, more than half of the problems in the world would vanish. There’s a lot to be gained by talking to men about their behavior. Parenting is to develop good manners, empathy, responsibility, and kindness in children. But it’s easier said than done? Don’t do it and wait for fiascos. Act now or suffer later.
Teenagers need to be consistently exposed to those behaviors you want them to emulate. When parents lower their standards, their children don’t respect them and don’t trust them to lead them into successful adulthood. When parents stick to their values, their children may not tell them that they respect them, but they do.
Once your children get into the routine of being a nice (young gentleman), they will experience the doles of being polite and kind towards others. They might feel nice to be, well…nice.
It is awfully important to teach them manners, respect, and honor.
We live in a world that is deeply suspicious of male desire. And, rightly so. The number of men who rape, who act out in countless other sexually compulsive and destructive ways is depressingly high. The solution doesn’t lie in puritanical self-restraint or in a defensive insistence that there’s nothing wrong.
The solution lies in acknowledging that while we have a right to want what we want, we don’t have the right to burden or offend others by the way we display those wants. The reason why this is such a burning issue at the moment is that women worldwide are standing up for what is right and breaking the barriers of taboos and archaic thoughts.
P.S. I think Men are wonderful. Most of them are.