“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

Courage Is Fire, Bullying Is Smoke.

6 Year old Child:  “This boy in my class snatches away my lunch all the time. He teases me and makes fun of me negatively”. (Son of my neighbour)

15 Year old: “People make fun of me and my name. They make fun of my “English”. I speak words differently. I don’t fit in their set beauty standards. Girls are mean. They isolate me because I am not as pretentious as them. Teachers don’t help. They think it’s a part of growing up.”

36 Year old: “Staff of my university never fails to make me feel inferior and degraded. They abuse me verbally, tease me endlessly. My skin color and dressing sense exist to entertain them”. (Friend)

48 Year old: A highly educated man of an esteemed designation, along with his friends passes derogatory remarks rampantly at a woman. He spreads fabricated rumors about her in work place. He gets all the work done by her only to call her inefficient. He points fingers at her for the whole shebang and everything. He blocks and threatens her friends from talking to her and not helping her. He harasses her pompously!! He writes bullshit in her Annual Report solely to show his dominance. He is corrupt, disrespectful and a shitty person. Now, this woman is my Mother. I would have not taken any longer to write to PMO about him to glorify his acts only if my mother had not stopped me. He was lucky that it is my mother, who is a very sane, mature and wise woman. (I would have punched him right in the face and made him handsome by giving him a darkest black eye). I would have shut his whole Fuck up. He should be thankful to my mother, who is an extremely kind and forgiving as a person.

Don’t expect me to be nice when it comes to my family. I would do the same if I were in your place. Also, that fifteen year old girl was me in my teenage years. However, it did not take long for me to understand that those were attempts to suppress me and my self-esteem. I stopped them before the start of it all, before they could turn worse. In my case, my teachers and school authority were not at all helpful. (I still pity those bullies though, how shitty they must be in real!!).

Bullying is when someone is being hurt either by words or actions, feels bad because of it, and has a hard time stopping what is happening to them. Bullies confuse emotional for weak.Bullying can be: Emotional; name calling, making fun of someone, laughing at someone, leaving someone out on purpose, starting rumors or telling lies about someone, sending mean messages on a computer or cell phone, trying to make someone feel bad about who they are.Physical; hitting, pushing and shoving, fighting, tripping, yelling at someone, making rude gestures, taking or breaking another person’s things.

All that I am trying to express is that Bullying can transpire anyplace at any age to any gender. It can occur in our homes, Schools, Workplaces, Neighborhoods, Public Transportation, On-line and even in Relationships. As we try to overcome them, we are hit by Cyber bullying. A nasty thing to say on Internet is easier than saying kind and nice things. I have no idea why!! Bullying is never okay, cool, or acceptable. No one EVER deserves to be bullied. 

Many of us have a good idea of what bullying is because we see it every day! “Power” can include such things as being older, being physically bigger or stronger, having more social status, or when a group of students “gang up” on someone. It happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending themselves. So, everyone needs to get involved to help stop it. It is the behavior that makes the person being bullied feels afraid or uncomfortable. There are many ways that people bully each other, even if they don’t realize it at the time.

Why drag someone when you could lift them up? Why throw shade when you could shed a little light? Being negative for a laugh isn’t worth it.

12 thoughts on “Courage Is Fire”

  1. Why drag someone when you could lift them up? That’s a good question. I think, this has much to do with projection. If we cannot accept something in ourselves, we project it out unto someone else and attack it there, and we blame even God for our self-created misery. You can only shed a little light with others, if you give yourself the permission to shine, to love yourself and become an awake and enlightened being. Marianne Williamson described this shift in consciousness in her book „Return to Love“:

    „Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    Only if we are liberated from our own fear, the feeling that we are inadequate, not good enough, can we stop to judge and blame each other. We blame each other only for our own unhappiness. We never do something like that in moments of happiness, when we are connected to the presence of love. In fact, we deprive ourselves of Love, if we act in that way. That’s the reason why forgiveness is so important in the teachings of Christ: it is the letting go of this negative mindset and the return to our natural presence of well-being, love, joy, appreciation, inspiration, ecstasy and bliss, fully connected to the pure positive Source Energy of the Creator.

    Blessings to you :),
    Mark

    1. You have addressed it exquisitely. You have connected dots within us, leading to inadequacy, fears, insecurities, projection and what not. Many of us lack such immaculate understanding of basic humanity in life and force our partisan understanding on others, leading to mistreatment eventually. We discard so much time in our society trying to assign blame. “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Thanks for your insights.

    1. Yes. The truth is, that we limitate the flow of happiness and abundance in our own life, if we live with a negative mindset and waste our time with blame and misbehavior. [“In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith ]

  2. I hate bullying! I believe it starts in the cradle & ends in the grave. I see animals bullying each other every day & wonder if it is a natural state of things?Even if it is,Humans have made a art form out of it to be sure!

    1. And, I equally abhor this art form too! I completely agree with you. It starts in the cradle & ends in the grave. I don’t appreciate how everybody tries to show their supremacy over another to satisfy their own insecurities and fears. Animals are no different than us and represent same selves we possess; Compassion towards our children, Quest for food, Struggle to survive, Envy, Anger and to be the leader of their tribe. But we as humans with sharp intelligence surpass all boundaries and do the worst in order to scar another soul for life to validate our own existence. From a child to an aged person, all writhe and drift from joy of life to overcome their sadness every day. I see more people with dejected and callous childhood than a conventional happy one. Who am I kidding! Even I am one of those who were made to feel less of myself by others. Sometimes, people commit suicide and take drastic steps to stop getting bullied because they simply can’t bully others to stop it. We are all going through one or the other thing. We are sailing in the same boat. It is a game of overpowering. Thanks Tofino 🙂

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